Sick kids

I took Sarah to the paediatrician yesterday morning.  She woke me up during the night saying that she couldn't sleep because she was coughing too much.  She had a fever and her chest sounded awfully tight and wheezy.  She's been a bit sick with a cold and a slight cough, but this all seemed to happen so suddenly.  I gave her some cough medicine I found in the cupboard and she went to sleep almost right away.  I didn't.  I lay awake for ages worrying about what could be wrong, and worrying if she will be okay, and wondering if I would be able to get an appointment with the doctor, and hoping that Daniel's cold doesn't go the same way, and beating myself up about 'letting' her get sick in the first place.  I had a knot the size of Australia in my stomach by the time morning came. 

I so HATE having to take any of the kids to the doctor.  Only thing I hate more is having to go to the doctor myself.  Must me a genetic thing: my mother was a nurse and even she would rather try and doctor herself than go to get herself checked out.  My dad is the same.  I remember this one time, my mother cut herself while preparing offal (gross, yes I know) and she got blood-poisoning.  She tried to draw out the poison with a concoction of green Sunlight soap and sugar and who knows what else.  It didn't work, so when the red line started going too far up her arm, she finally had to go to the doctor.  

Poor Sarah hasn't been to the doctor since she had her check-ups as a baby, so she was rather nervous.   She really didn't know what to expect and was a bit tearful by the time we got to the doctor's rooms.  Good thing this doctor has such a good bedside manner, just what you'd hope for in someone who chose to specialize in working with children.  Yeah, right.  First she took Sarah's whole life/medical history:  "How old are you?"  Almost seven.  "Okay.  Are you in school yet?"  Nope, she's home-schooled.  "Hmm." (First of many.)  "In which hospital was she born?"  She was born at home.  "Hmm. Was she breast-fed?  And if so, for how long?"  Yes, for 3 1/2 years. "Hmmm.  Are her immunizations up to date?"  We don't do those.  "Hmmmm."  This woman would be great at poker, her face was giving nothing away.  She could have been thinking -- "Good for them, they think for themselves, they don't just behave like sheep etc", or "What a bunch of wackos!"   More than likely the latter, but maybe that's just my paranoia playing up.

I explained what was happening all through the examination.  Sarah (probably thinking)-- why is she knocking me all over with a little hammer?  "She's only checking your reflexes."  Or why is she strapping that black thing to my arm?  "The doctor's just checking your blood-pressure."  Maybe the doctor's more used to kids who are more used to doctors, and who've had these things done a dozen times.  The lack of bedside manner certainly didn't make a dent in my normal aversion to doctors.  When it was done, Sarah did get a chocolate though.  And I got a bill for R450.  Holy cow.  And I thought it was expensive taking the cats to the vet.  That explains the (to my mind) unnecessary things like the blood-pressure testing  -- had to fill up at least 15 minutes.  

All that being said (and seen through the lens of my doctor-phobia), R450 was cheap for being told that Sarah was okay, her lungs were clear, and she would be okay soon.  And not even a gratuitous prescription for some snake-oil later, we were out of there and the knot in my stomach shrunk to the size of Iceland right away.  

I expect to be able to keep the kids healthy with only my will-power and some vitamin C.  So when it gets to the stage where one of them has to go to the doctor, I see it as a personal failure.  I know no-one ever said it was easy being a mother, but really...   :-/